Is your husband determined to fight against you in court? Do you both feel as though divorce might be the only route to take?
Can you ask yourself the question, how will your children be affected by the divorce and separation?
Don’t you realize that it’s very difficult for them to understand why their daddy isn’t coming home anymore?
Life will never be the same for young children that experience the traumatic effects of a painful divorce. This is because every child will internally collapse, as their emotions begin to eat away at their lives and happiness.
That is why it’s important for you to understand that you’re not just getting a long drawn out divorce, but your also discarding the hopes and dreams of your children as well.
When the two of you aren’t able to make things work anymore, and you feel as though divorce is the only way out of non commutative, argumentative, and sexless marriage.
According to Sociologist, divorce rates are plummeting higher than the yearly marriage rates, and usually during the first year of divorce families are utterly broken and shattered emotionally, spiritually and financially.
So the number one question that should be pressing in front of your mind is “how will my children survive because of our divorce?”
The way a child will deal with the issue of divorce will also be determined on how the child will take to the grief of being separated from a person he or she once knew.
When a child does not receive the support he or she needs during a divorce, then they will exhibit a negative approach to life and to relationships.
Firstly, the child will develop a very rebellious behavior. He or she will try to vent the anger of what is happening at home on every body around him or her thereby creating a personality that is rebellious and indignant.
If this is not properly dealt with by you the single parent, their behavior is bound to become much worse.
Secondly, the child will be more likely to give into negative peer pressure at a young age, and the reason for this is that he or she will feel uncared for at home.
Thereby laying out all their feelings to friends that will most of the times lead them into wrongdoings.
Also since the parents are busy dealing with their own problems, and are working consistently just to keep the home afloat, then due to the emotional neglect children will develop a low self esteem about themselves, and will seek love and appreciation in all the wrong places.
The third negative effect of a divorce on a child is that of diminishing academic performance.
It is usually common for a child to find it hard to concentrate on academics because of the anxiety and emotional trauma that he or she has been exposed to by their parents divorce, and so completing school assignments, projects, homework would take less priority in their life.
More so, as a child grows into an adult coping with divorce would dissuade the child from ever becoming committed to a long term relationship, such as getting married.
Instead they will have a low self esteem about their lives, and immediately give into the temptation of engaging in sexual activities outside of marriage, and ultimately ruin their lives by either becoming pregnant at a young age, or becoming a father at a young age.
Which in my opinion they truly aren’t prepared for. There is a lot of brokenness stored up in a child’s heart after losing the two people they once held such love and admiration for in their lives.
They will be able to understand the true complications of divorce, and so to avoid so much problems that could affect your child.
Do the right thing now, while their is still some hope left. There have been countless of marriages that have been saved – and the only thing that truly brought them back together was a fresh start at communicating to each other again, because as I see it, you don’t have to hold grudges in your heart towards your spouse.
Instead do the right things as a parent, and the two of you should work together to fulfilling your vows and encouraging your children to do the same when it their turn to walk down that isle.
